Taking Action When Chronic Illness Makes Everything Feel Impossible
Living with a chronic health condition can turn even simple tasks into seemingly insurmountable challenges. When pain, fatigue, or other symptoms dominate your days, it's easy to fall into thinking: "What's the point of even trying?"
Yet within this struggle lies an essential truth – while we can't control our health conditions, we can choose how we respond to them.
The Knowing-Doing Gap
Emma had been discussing her goals with her therapist for weeks. She understood what she needed to do to improve her quality of life despite her fibromyalgia. She had insights about her avoidance patterns and how they were shrinking her world. She could explain coping strategies and pacing techniques perfectly.
Yet nothing in her daily life had actually changed.
This highlights an important reality: understanding what's wrong and how to fix it isn't enough. Without action, insight doesn't help much.
Remember: Real change happens through doing, not just knowing.
Why We Drift From What Matters
When living with chronic illness, our behaviour often drifts away from what truly matters to us. This happens for both external reasons (physical limitations, treatment demands, financial pressures) and internal ones:
Getting stuck in unhelpful thoughts – Believing "I'll probably fail" and avoiding opportunities as a result
Avoiding discomfort – Letting the urge to avoid pain or anxiety determine your choices
Choosing short-term relief – Opting for immediate comfort rather than long-term wellbeing
Falling into old patterns – Continuing habits that no longer serve your current situation
Lacking direction – Without clear purpose, it's harder to endure necessary discomfort
Finding Your Way Forward: Values as Your Guide
James had gradually withdrawn from community activities since his MS diagnosis. When his friend invited him to help with a local charity event, his instinct was to decline. The potential fatigue and pain seemed overwhelming.
But something stopped him. He asked himself: "What matters most to me? If I ignore my condition for a moment, what kind of person do I want to be?"
The answer was clear – someone who contributes to his community and maintains meaningful connections. So he agreed, but with boundaries: he'd help for two hours, sitting down, and would leave if symptoms flared.
The day wasn't pain-free, but it was deeply fulfilling. By connecting his actions to his values, the discomfort became worthwhile.
Quick Tip: When making decisions, ask yourself: "Is this action moving me toward my values or away from them?"
Common Barriers (And How to Overcome Them)
1. Poorly Defined Goals
Effective goals should be SMART:
Specific (clear descriptions rather than vague hopes)
Measurable (how you'll know when you've achieved it)
Achievable (realistic given your circumstances)
Relevant (aligned with what matters to you)
Time-framed (with deadlines to create momentum)
Instead of "I'll try to be more active," try "I'll walk for 10 minutes after breakfast three days this week."
2. The Discomfort Barrier
Rachel knew exactly how to set boundaries with people who demanded too much of her energy. She understood the techniques perfectly and could practice them successfully in her assertiveness class.
The problem was that in real situations, she couldn't bring herself to use these skills.
"The anxiety of actually saying no felt so overwhelming that it seemed easier to just agree," she explained. "Of course, afterwards I was exhausted and angry with myself."
The key isn't just knowing what to do, but being willing to experience temporary discomfort for something that matters more. This might mean tolerating anxiety, guilt, or awkwardness as you take action aligned with your values.
3. The Uncertainty Challenge
The unpredictability of chronic illness creates a particular challenge: you can't know exactly how you'll feel next week or even tomorrow.
Some respond by stopping planning altogether – declining all invitations because they can't guarantee they'll be well enough. While understandable, this approach can lead to isolation and a life defined by illness.
The alternative is acceptance: making plans while acknowledging uncertainty. This might look like:
Letting others know your situation in advance
Having contingency plans ("If symptoms flare, I'll need to rest while you all continue")
Choosing flexible options when possible
Quick Tip: It's better to make plans and sometimes have to cancel them than never to plan anything at all.
4. When Goals Need to Change
Sometimes, chronic illness makes certain goals genuinely unrealistic. This loss is real and deserves to be acknowledged.
However, while specific goals might need to change, the values behind them often don't. The question becomes: "How can I honor this value in a way that works with my current reality?"
A former marathon runner with heart disease might not return to racing, but could find other ways to express their value of "physical challenge" through adaptive sports or coaching others.
Start Small, But Start Today
The path forward isn't about dramatic transformations. It's about small, consistent actions aligned with what matters to you:
Identify one value that's important to you
Choose one small action you can take in the next 24 hours that honors that value
Do it – even when your mind offers reasons not to
When Daniel decided to reconnect with friends despite his chronic fatigue, he didn't start with an all-day outing. He began with a 20-minute video call with one friend. This small step honored his value of connection without overwhelming his energy reserves.
Every journey begins with a single step. What small action will you take today?
Taking the Next Step
Living with chronic health problems can feel overwhelming, but you don't have to face it alone. Book a free consultation to discuss how therapy can help you navigate the emotional challenges while building resilience and hope. Together, we can find ways to make each day more manageable.
