Discovering Your Core Values: A Journey to Self-Understanding
The Hidden Power of Values
Values are like the invisible threads that weave the fabric of our lives. They shape our decisions, influence our behaviours, and define what we stand for. Yet, many of us haven’t taken the time to identify and understand our core values. By clarifying what truly matters to us, we can create a more fulfilling and purposeful life.
The Challenge of Identifying Values
Often, we adopt values from those around us—parents, teachers, friends, and society—without questioning whether they truly reflect our own beliefs. This can lead to living a life that doesn’t feel quite right, as if we’re following someone else’s script. The first step in discovering your core values is recognising which values are genuinely yours and which have been inherited from others.
Reflection: Looking Back to Move Forward
Start by reflecting on your past. Think about the moments when you felt the most fulfilled and content. What were you doing? Who were you with? What values were you expressing in those moments? For example, if you felt proud while helping others, it could indicate that compassion or generosity is a core value for you.
Exercise: Write down three such moments from your life and identify the values that were present in each situation. This can help you uncover recurring themes and values that are important to you.
Exploring New Perspectives
Sometimes, traditional questions about values can lead to “I don’t know” responses, especially if you’ve never thought about them deeply. Here are some creative ways to bypass mental blocks and get a clearer picture of your values:
Miracle Question: Imagine that a miracle happened overnight and you woke up to a world where all your problems were solved. What would you do differently? What activities or pursuits would fill your day? This can help you identify what truly matters to you when all obstacles are removed.
Absolute Approval Scenario: Suppose whatever you did, you received absolute approval from everyone. What actions would you take? What would you pursue with this unconditional support? This can reveal the values you would express if you weren’t worried about judgment.
Zombie Apocalypse Thought Experiment: Picture yourself as the sole survivor of a zombie apocalypse, with all your basic needs met. What would you do to create a meaningful life? This can help you understand what gives your life purpose when external expectations are stripped away.
Aligning Your Life with Your Values
Once you’ve identified your core values, the next step is to align your actions and decisions with them. This alignment can bring a sense of coherence and satisfaction to your life.
Exercise: Take a look at your current daily activities and commitments. Do they reflect your core values? If not, think about what changes you can make to better align your life with what truly matters to you. For instance, if you value health but rarely exercise, consider incorporating physical activity into your routine.
Living Authentically
Living according to your values isn’t always easy, especially if they conflict with societal expectations or the values of those around you. However, staying true to your values can lead to greater authenticity and integrity. It’s about being the author of your own life, making choices that reflect who you really are.
The Ongoing Journey
Discovering and living by your values is a continuous journey. As you grow and evolve, your values might shift, and that’s okay. Regular reflection and reassessment can help you stay connected with what truly matters to you.
Exercise: Set aside time each month to reflect on your values and how well you’re living by them. Are there new values that have become important to you? Are there areas in your life that need realignment?
Conclusion
Clarifying your core values is a powerful way to bring more meaning and direction to your life. By understanding what truly matters to you, you can make decisions that align with your values and lead to greater satisfaction and fulfilment.
If you’d like to learn more about discovering and clarifying your values, I invite you to explore the resources on my website. And if you have any questions or would like to discuss your journey further, feel free to book a free 15-minute consultation with me.
I look forward to supporting you on your journey to a more fulfilling life.
